I Believe in Miracles!

"I can almost see it.

That dream I'm dreaming, but

There's a voice inside my head saying

You'll never reach it

Every step I'm takin'

Every move I make

Feels lost with no direction,

My faith is shakin'

But I, I gotta keep tryin'

Gotta keep my head held high

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down, but

No I'm not breaking

I may not know it, but

These are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep goin',

And I, I gotta be strong

Just keep pushing on, 'cause

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb"

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle life is a maze..."

This week has been interesting, good, but interesting. I have thought a lot about my life before my mission, and what the heck its going to be like when I get home. Its weird. I realized yesterday that when I go "home" my home will be gone, blown away by the sands of time. My friends will all be gone, the land I loved won't be mine, I will have to learn a new life style and make crazy decisions.

WOW! How did I grow up? How did I come to be where I am now. I honestly don't know.  I just know it has been a miracle. 

This week my comp and I taught a man who said he didn't believe in miracles and he is a member!  I just sat there thinking how sad. Then I realized that I think a ton of times I take miracles for granted or don't trust in the Lord to give them to me, this brings me to the subject of gratitude. Here is a little list of miracles I am grateful for: 

Life: Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk with one of the members who lives in the same house as me and my companion.  She is a YW leader and really neat. Lots of people have had hard lives here, their families are broken and people around them make bad choices. We ended up talking about birth, controversial matters, broken families, adoption, and the gift of a strong family in the Gospel, etc. My thoughts couldn't help but go to my dear little sister, Abbi, who is adopted. I love that little chica, and what if my family didn't have the Gospel and couldn't be with her always? What if her life had been ended before it even truly started, and I never had gotten the opportunity to be her sister? Then my thoughts went to my loving parents, and the good example of a strong, faithful, loving marriage that they have set for me. They have had hard times, but in the end they are in true love, and I am truly grateful for that. I am truly grateful that I have never had to choose between my parents, live separated from any of my siblings or have to wonder if I was part of some sort of problem, etc. I am SUPER grateful for the miracle of being born into a gospel family. 

The Gift of Toungues: I relized this week that my thoughts are now in Spanglish, and its super hard to think in perfect English. Entounces, soy agradecio por la milagro de el don de linguas. How crazy is it that I can speak as well as I do in only three months when it takes a child years to learn their native tongue, and a regular adult years to learn a second. 

My Heritage: I am grateful for my heritage, in particular the legacies of faith my ancestors have set for me. Its kind of hard to be a foreigner here when everyone around me is so VERY Mexican, but I can draw strength from my Heritage. I am in love with my Scottish heritage and I find the motos of my families to be quite fortifying at times. I am stubborn because of my German Scottish blood, and I won't go down without a fight. I am grateful for the miracle that my ancestors are mine, and I am who I am.

I could go on and on, but let me talk a bit more about my week, and with some luck you will find more miracles. 

I am starting to feel like my dad... My father is a very punctual person, and if he is late he freaks! Well my companion is late to EVERYTHING, and it drives me crazy! The worst part is she gets kinda of bugged when I point it out to her. I also hate that she forgets to call people when we can't make appointments. I really don't want people to hate us, so I wish she would be on time. I woke up a few days ago and realized that this was my father coming out in me. This is actually the only problem I have with my companion, hallelujah!

Before my mission, I am shamed to admit I never read the Book of Mormon all the way through for myself. I have heard my parents read it a thousand times over but never read it for myself. Anyone who knows me will probablly be suprised by this confession. Before I left for my mission my bishop asked that I read it all the way through, and my branch prez in the MTC asked the same. I have been reading it a ton latley and am loving it! It brings sooo much peace into my daily life, and I find myself drawing upon what I read in my lessons a ton. 

If you have not read the Book of Mormon you should, I would like to invite my whole family to read it with me, and even my non-member family. Even if you don't think its scripture or anything the stories themselves are just plain amazing, and you can learn so much from them. I actually owe part of my high reading level to the Book of Mormon. So please READ IT! 

Its funny, everyone always talks about having dreams in their mission language, and you would think that since I practically only ever hear Spanish that I should have dreams in Spanish right? Well I have only had dreams in Spanish twice! CRAZY! But I find that its ok because I have tons of dreams about my family, its kind of like visiting them at night. I think it might be a tender mercy of the Lord. 

Also on the subject of dreams, I dream very crazy, vivid, dreams, and I find myself having deja vu TONS here. Yesterday I had a really strong moment of deja vu and could even remember which dream it was from. I remember at the time when I had this dream thinking it was weird that everyone in my dream was Latino...I guess I know why now. lol. 

Its funny I find myself questioning a ton how I would say certain things in English. Yesterday one of the members that I live with was asking me what "holy cow" means and how to use it. And then I had to explain some other phrases. I say "holy mac & cheese" a lot, and so she wanted to learn that.   I taught her how to say it and then someone rang the doorbell. She walked over to the door  opened it and said "WOW! holy mac & cheese!" to the boy at the door with a thick Mexican accent. He just chuckled waved and said "Buenos dias, Hermana" I laughed pretty hard at that.

I just keep thinking about how these people need to be like family, like my ward back home. When I think like this, that these people are my brothers and sisters, it makes it a ton easier to have charity and serve. I think we need to be thinking like this always and with everyone we come in contact with, its then that we will find true happiness and true love. 

I also want to give a shout out to my little bro, James, who just had his 12th b-day and received the priesthood. I am so grateful to be a part of a family where all the men of age are worthy priesthood holders. The Priesthood is such a miracle in our lives. 

I think that the key to miracles is to trust that the Lord will send them, and to have gratitude for them.  

Sorry this post is a little all over the place, thats just my brain this week! Love yall! 

Hermana Shingleton XOXOX